The Green light flashes on the screen that means the aircraft is boarding, or actually has just arrived for its 25 minute turnaround. It’s now a race; can the passengers in their new found animalistic ways form a stampede and hurl towards the poor gate agent before the chocks have been set on the aircraft? Yes, you’ve guessed it, another Ryanair 737-800 has arrived.
Ryanair, the European low cost airline that seems to be expanding scarily fast is supposed to have some form of organisation with its boarding but this seems to have been forgotten as a mass of passengers swamp the small gate area. Now there’s a slight problem, the aircraft hasn’t even opened its doors yet and it doesn’t take the smartest of people to figure there are cattle, sorry passengers to get off before they even think of opening the gates to set our lot free.
So, I have found myself swept along with the other passengers and we now stand there like lemons waiting for something to happen. Passengers look around and tap their feet whilst the gate agent looks anxious even though this is obviously a regular occurrence for her. It is at this point that I start to question what the aviation industry is coming to. Everyone is already stressed and that’s just trying to get onto the aircraft!
The gate is eventually opened and everyone finds new enthusiasm to help them get to the gate quicker. After a minute or so the airport opens two gates to cope, which is quite impressive considering that the airline is too cheap to open more than two check-in desks per flight at most departure points.
I eventually reach the door out to the apron and after having my boarding passed torn quickly I find myself in stage 2 of “let’s try and get on that aircraft quicker than everyone else” a game I figure Ryanair frequent flyers must have medals for. People are actually running, yes running to get on the plane. It isn’t raining, snowing or haling in fact it is a beautiful summer’s evening but some feel the need to actually run towards the steps as if it is some kind of odd destiny they hold.
I climb the rear steps; the front looked like it had the rest of the flight trying to squeeze up at once, and am greeted by the robot (F/A) in the cabin who barely glances at me before I enter the cabin. Yes, no checking there, isn’t that supposed to be done? In fact you will hear the result of this in my next paragraph. So I eventually find a seat, a window, I am lucky this time and squeeze in.
The first thing I’m greeted with is the safety instructions plastered over the seatback. I am lucky though as I have managed to get on an aircraft with the old interior meaning it has some reminders of being a plane. Just. This is like a bus service, a bad one at that.
Some awfully cheap shopping music plays amongst constant and frustrating recorded announcements about things Ryanair is trying to sell. Then comes the announcement asking all passengers going to Dublin to get off the plane. Hang on, did I hear that correctly? Yes, they have managed to miss all signs up and get through two different
people and onto our plane to London Stansted! We are delayed 40 minutes or so but Dublin is at a 1 hour 30 minute delay.
The doors are eventually shut and the engines start up. The robots take to their positions albeit late, as on the flight out, so they come running down the aisle trying to point out exits. The safety is a recorded announcement except Ryanair didn’t use a real person for the recording, oh no, a computer generated voice. Sometimes you just have to laugh.
We start to move and the robots run back to their seats as we start to taxi Ryanair style. This means speeds well above the limit; it really is no surprise flights have been charged for speeding by police in England. One of my travelling companions even asked on the flight out if we were taking off!
We make it to the threshold in record time and swing onto the runway for a rolling takeoff. No such thing as worrying about engine wear at this airline as we are once again treated to a powerful and steep departure. That was the only bit of the flight I actually enjoyed. Unfortunately it gets worse.
We hear constant sales announcements telling us to look in our magazines for the prices and what’s on offer but there is a slight problem. No magazine. Like on the flight out one of these fails to be seen, a move that baffles me, as even for duty free we don’t have a clue what they’re offering. Surely a small and light menu card should be placed somewhere.
The robots begin their service which they are so incredibly slow at I found it hard not to laugh. I decided to time them as there wasn’t much else to do and it took them an impressive 12 minutes to serve 3 rows, only 2 of which actually wanted anything. You see, while there are no pricelists for us it seems the ones for the crew are not easy to understand. One of them runs down the aisle shouting how much a cup of coffee is whilst the other tries to add up what’s owed. What’s the result? An absolute mess! They should take a leaf out of easyJet’s book.
As we start our approach and the seatbelt signs go on one robot flies along the whole cabin murmuring “Duty Free”. Unsurprisingly they sell nothing. The other robots, I call them this as they show no sign of life for the entire 2 hour period, come rushing through behind her checking the cabin for landing. “Seats for landing” is called out before they’ve finished so they rush through the last few rows, which my father is sat in. Little does he realise as he’s asleep that his seat belt is actually unfastened and will remain so until he is flung forward upon landing.
After we’ve touched down we taxi off to our stand, again at a record speed. And so we have reached our destination and the L1 door is opened for us to all get off and onto a bus to the terminal. This was the first flight I’ve ever had without any communication with the cabin crew; the goodbyes were not really bothered with.
Being an aviation enthusiast I like flying, most of us do, but the flights with Ryanair were different. It was flying, of course it was but it felt like some cheap attempt at a bus and left me feeling slightly saddened. There are also some issues that worry me.
In 2004 I flew Ryanair to get on the Boeing 737-200 and neither way had a lifejacket under my seat. People are getting on the wrong planes. Whilst boarding the outbound from STN there were no representatives to tell you which plane to board, I could have got on the flight next door and almost did which was going to Porto before realising my mistake. The crew are not checking boarding passes correctly; I do however say this though from my flights as I cannot comment on every flight of Ryanair. Also on one of my flights as stated above the cabin crew did not properly do their checks of passengers for landing.
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As an end-note, I am fully aware I didn’t have to fly this airline, but I didn’t book the tickets myself so it would have been very awkward to change. Since I held a fare paying ticket on Ryanair I do have the right to moan and have done so before anyone starts saying all the usual. I mean no offence to any staff members personally here who work for the airline by calling the crew Robots, this is merely a term that has arisen from my flights.
Thankyou for reading,
Sam
My Ryanair experience
So Sam ,
Please tell us what "speeds above the limit "are ? What is the speed limit for the 738 in taxi ? What are the ryanair speed limits ? I can appreciate your disdain for the boarding procedures , but there is nothing to stop you sitting relaxed until last and then boarding at the end , once you are at the gate the flight will not depart without you .
regarding flight deck operations though , please get your facts right before posting , i can guarantee that no limits were broken in Taxi , Flight deck are fully aware of the limits and that the plane will "tell" on them automatically if broken , then it's tea and biscuts with the chief pilot and a demotion or sacking . this applies for all stages of flight .
Please tell us what "speeds above the limit "are ? What is the speed limit for the 738 in taxi ? What are the ryanair speed limits ? I can appreciate your disdain for the boarding procedures , but there is nothing to stop you sitting relaxed until last and then boarding at the end , once you are at the gate the flight will not depart without you .
regarding flight deck operations though , please get your facts right before posting , i can guarantee that no limits were broken in Taxi , Flight deck are fully aware of the limits and that the plane will "tell" on them automatically if broken , then it's tea and biscuts with the chief pilot and a demotion or sacking . this applies for all stages of flight .
Actually Ryanair pilots do break the limits mainly through pressure of schedules. I know for a fact that pilots have been pulled over at Gatwick for it. I can guarentee you that there are limits of taxi. You're taking this all far too seriously. Also, I was sat down nicely, however I was right by the gate and thus couldn't escape it.pressman wrote:So Sam ,
Please tell us what "speeds above the limit "are ? What is the speed limit for the 738 in taxi ? What are the ryanair speed limits ? I can appreciate your disdain for the boarding procedures , but there is nothing to stop you sitting relaxed until last and then boarding at the end , once you are at the gate the flight will not depart without you .
regarding flight deck operations though , please get your facts right before posting , i can guarantee that no limits were broken in Taxi , Flight deck are fully aware of the limits and that the plane will "tell" on them automatically if broken , then it's tea and biscuts with the chief pilot and a demotion or sacking . this applies for all stages of flight .
- Airbus330lover
- Posts: 883
- Joined: 21 Jul 2005, 00:00
- Location: Rixensart
Robots... effectively.
First and... last experience :flight CRL-FNI.
A woman was on the flight with a child and a lot of stuffs (teddy beer, beauty case....)
Traveling alone, i was waiting on the tarmac at FNI to help this woman. Wat a problem, on of the robots FIRMLY asked me to go away, no possibility to wait on the tarmac, only tho help.
And don't think the robot helped this passenger, she was not programmed for !.
Waiting for the luggage a few minutes later, it was her first and... last flight with Ryanair.
FYI they robots are low cost robots, they don't speak
First and... last experience :flight CRL-FNI.
A woman was on the flight with a child and a lot of stuffs (teddy beer, beauty case....)
Traveling alone, i was waiting on the tarmac at FNI to help this woman. Wat a problem, on of the robots FIRMLY asked me to go away, no possibility to wait on the tarmac, only tho help.
And don't think the robot helped this passenger, she was not programmed for !.
Waiting for the luggage a few minutes later, it was her first and... last flight with Ryanair.
FYI they robots are low cost robots, they don't speak
- Vinnie-Winnie
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- Location: London
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Re: Ryanair
Very funny, congratulation ! Not true, of course, scandalously one-sided, partial, subjective - but funny.LGWDOC wrote: -------------------------------
As an end-note, I am fully aware I didn’t have to fly this airline, but I didn’t book the tickets myself so it would have been very awkward to change. Since I held a fare paying ticket on Ryanair I do have the right to moan and have done so before anyone starts saying all the usual. I mean no offence to any staff members personally here who work for the airline by calling the crew Robots, this is merely a term that has arisen from my flights.
Thankyou for reading,
Sam
One could write the same story with the reverse prejudice, showing everything to the glory of Ryanair. I have a good mind to try and do it after one of my next Ryanair ( I have some 20 FR flights already booked in the next six months).
If you have something to complain of, write to them, and you'll get a detailed answer a few days later. I have experienced it. (A problem at the boarding gate, which is the less glamorous part, I admit it).
I think I can say that I am beginning to get some experience of that airline : I have logged until now 82 flights and 110 hours in the air with them.
And my opinion is that Ryanair is a good airline, with good planes, pleasant flight crew, good ponctuality, good safety and, last but not least, amusing prices !
But, as you say, nobody is forced to fly Ryanair...
Sam ,
i really take issue with your claims of FR flightcrew exceeding limits to make schedules . I can assure you that it is not the case , we are allowed up to max 30 knots on taxi which is almost 60km/h .
You really shouldn't cast aspirations on professionals like that , we never rush to make turnarounds or keep schedules , we go when we are ready .
like I said before , you are entitled to express an opinion on what goes on in the cabin with the "robots" but please keep your ametuer opinions about the flightdeck to yourself .
i really take issue with your claims of FR flightcrew exceeding limits to make schedules . I can assure you that it is not the case , we are allowed up to max 30 knots on taxi which is almost 60km/h .
You really shouldn't cast aspirations on professionals like that , we never rush to make turnarounds or keep schedules , we go when we are ready .
like I said before , you are entitled to express an opinion on what goes on in the cabin with the "robots" but please keep your ametuer opinions about the flightdeck to yourself .
Amateur opinons? Not at all. My father is one of the managers on Pier 1 which FR use at LGW and witnessed the incident where the police boarded the 737 after it arrived and taxied in at some rediculous speed.pressman wrote:Sam ,
i really take issue with your claims of FR flightcrew exceeding limits to make schedules . I can assure you that it is not the case , we are allowed up to max 30 knots on taxi which is almost 60km/h .
You really shouldn't cast aspirations on professionals like that , we never rush to make turnarounds or keep schedules , we go when we are ready .
like I said before , you are entitled to express an opinion on what goes on in the cabin with the "robots" but please keep your ametuer opinions about the flightdeck to yourself .
Cheers for the replies, it was very one sided, but it's only meant as a bit of banter, glad some can take it in that way 8)
Sam
LGW , your making me laugh now , police boarding a 737 for speeding !! It has nothing to do with police mate . did they put points on his licence and give him a fixed notice fine as well .
TSBC it has nothing to do with "colleagueality" at my base i know for a fact that CC are extremly friendly as for others I'm afraid I can't comment ,
TSBC it has nothing to do with "colleagueality" at my base i know for a fact that CC are extremly friendly as for others I'm afraid I can't comment ,
- Airbus330lover
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Hello and goodbye... is a minimum to say.....pressman wrote:LGW , your making me laugh now , police boarding a 737 for speeding !! It has nothing to do with police mate . did they put points on his licence and give him a fixed notice fine as well .
TSBC it has nothing to do with "colleagueality" at my base i know for a fact that CC are extremly friendly as for others I'm afraid I can't comment ,
But.... my ears are good, and.... nothing.
Forget my ears and....
Smiling CC is another minimum.....
and my eyes.... are good too and no ...smile.
I don't ask a word in french for a flight between Charleroi south and Nimes, no chance to have it.
Ok, im sorry I can't keep this up. It was a joke in the first place, if you notice I didn't place it in the serious paragraph at the end starting "In 2004...". FR taxi fast though, now that you have to admitpressman wrote:LGW , your making me laugh now , police boarding a 737 for speeding !! It has nothing to do with police mate . did they put points on his licence and give him a fixed notice fine as well .
TSBC it has nothing to do with "colleagueality" at my base i know for a fact that CC are extremly friendly as for others I'm afraid I can't comment ,
I dont like RYanair but you have to admire their sense of humour.....
http://www.ryanair.com/site/EN/notices. ... 822-ASP-EN
http://www.ryanair.com/site/EN/notices. ... 822-ASP-EN
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If you think so, you are quite right to boycott them.teddybAIR wrote:I've never been on any ryanair flight and I can assure you that I will never be on one of their flights either. I just cannot support their business model or conduct. They just squeeze all their possible stakeholders as much as possible.
In illo tempore, I did the same with Sabena. I didn't like their way :to strangle the passengers with high fares, to bar all competition from other Belgian companies, and, generally speaking, to shamelessly sponge on the Belgian tawpayer.
And my boycott worked ! (I admit I was not the only one to do it).
Best of luck with Ryanair !
I don't see it as a boycott though, its more of a trade-off everybody makes for him/herself. I don't want to have to fear that my flight will be cancelled without explanations, I don't want to be squeezed just before my well earne d holidays start, I don't want to fight for my seat, or take public transport to Charleroi.
Frankly, I wonder wether someone has already calculated the true cost of flying low-cost vs. full-service (economy). I am still not convinced that they are actually cheaper if you take all elements into account (taxes, insurances, public transport, cancelations, lecture, beverages, food,...).
Frankly, I wonder wether someone has already calculated the true cost of flying low-cost vs. full-service (economy). I am still not convinced that they are actually cheaper if you take all elements into account (taxes, insurances, public transport, cancelations, lecture, beverages, food,...).